Stressful Situations...

So- the Grey's finale tonight... I think my heart skipped a beat at least 20 different times. Such a stressful yet awesome episode. For those of you who don't watch, long story short, mourning husband whose wife was "murdered" by the hospital was out for revenge against the Docs responsible, and he systematically gunned down anyone who got in his way. Of course there were many twists and turns and many questions drudged up during the season were answered, some were not. Many ppl died in the shootings- all of whom were hospital employees... rather morbid and graphic and somewhat disturbing. And yet, I was spellbound. People around the country were glued. (i know because their facebook statuses said so, ha) And so I ask, why do we love violent TV? Yes it had drama and romance all intertwined, but still, very violent. If I were a psychoanalyzer I would probably say something along the lines of "it allows us to confront our worst nightmares and role play from a safe vantage point". Probably true considering the whole time I was wondering who I'd be. Who would you be? What guy are you in the emergency? Are you Bailey- shocked into silence, paralyzed by fear, ready to say whatever to get out of the line of fire? (which incidentally I thought the whole "are you a surgeon" "no I'm a nurse" thing envoked a little bit of Columbine "are you a Christian" thing which to me, seemed a little bit like a cheap shot...) Or are you Meredith- the self offering sacrificial lamb, the martyr. Maybe you're the Derek Shephard- the peacemaker, smooth talking, quick thinking on your feet, ever prepared guy. There are so many different reactions which people have to situations in which they feel powerless, fearful, terrorized. I think we (as a society) enjoy watching stuff like this because it does allow us to sort through emotions about events which we hear about, but can't imagine experiencing for ourselves. I think particularly for those of us who are in the medical field and confronted with life and death, emergencies, and morbid events daily- it is a particularly gratifying way to confront our emotions. Because it's not real. When it is real, you have to develop an emotional shield, if you will, because without it- you couldn't do your job. You couldn't make rational decisions about what's best for your patient. This is also why many people don't want to treat their own family members. Especially in a "high stakes" type situation and maybe even non-emergent. Can you make the best decision for someone you love?? Probably not in many cases. In order to be the best provider to our patients we have to emotionally distance to some extent, yet not too much, and that is a very fine line. Anyway- I'm rambling, and probably taking this way too deep but it just makes me question myself when I find myself enjoying such a dark tv show. At least I know I'm not the only "dark and twisty" person out there, thanks facebook! ; ) At the end of the show I decided who I'd want to be though, I'd want to be Owen I think. The guy that distracts, tries to mediate, and is willing to "die with his boots on". You know, the guy that won't go down without a fight, and will fight to the death for the person you love. I'd want to be the guy that says "let's roll" on the plane, and the girl that says "yes, I'm a Christian". Even not in emergent situations we can be "that guy" everyday though. Being reminded of our mortality encourages us to be better EVERY day because you never know if tomorrow will come, none of us are promised a tomorrow. So you gotta (sing along with me...)liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiveeee like your dyinnnn.... And on that note, g'night all! ;o)